Step two: Are you living them?
I believe you will find that in every agreement there are parts you are living and parts that are more conditional in nature. There is probably at least one emotional or behavioral agreement that you're not living. Here's a place to use your daily mindfulness or meditation to discern where you do and where you don't.
But before you begin to criticize yourself, look deeply to see why you don't. In many cases, it is because the basis for the agreement no longer exists. For example, in our partner relationship we often agree, whether directly or implied, to faithfulness (i.e. to grow old together). But what about when our growth changes who we are and our focus in life? Can we be the same person to our partner, or do we need a new agreement to lovingly support each other’s growth and the changes it will bring? Many friendships are based on being supportive. Can we be supportive of our friend’s addictions or behaviors which are obviously not life-affirming? Can we become our spiritual potential by continuing to live based on a parent-child relationship with our parents or grown children?
Finally, how do we spiritualize our self if we are continually influenced to skirt the law at work? Or maybe it's just to disregard certain policies in order to make our boss or department look better. And how many people do you know that subtly cross the line in reporting all of their income or appropriate expenses on their tax return?
Step three: Define what it means to live your agreements.
Specifically, would you like others to be inconsistent in fulfilling their agreements with you? Is conditional or intermittent okay for you? Would you like God, for example, to be as human with you as humans are with each other? Is it reasonable to expect perfection from others and not from yourself? Also, can you commit to perform your agreements perfectly?
Here's where we need to define a better basis for living our agreements. Underlying our most important agreements are certain needs or expectations. First, we need to understand our agreements through communication. Having conscious awareness of our agreements is important for us to live them. Second, do not we expect loving support during both times of success and those instances when our efforts fail? Finally, I believe we all would like to have some mechanism in order to change our agreements as we grow and circumstances change.
This spiritualizing habit is not about living our agreements perfectly. It is defining and living a process in which we can love and grow through our agreements in life. The basis for this process is to:
· make our agreements conscious through reflection and communication
· provide loving support for both success and times of failure
· insist that agreements change when they cannot be lived with spiritual
Step four: Implement this spiritualizing process in all
The key here is to: faithfully live your agreements or change them.
6th Spiritualizing Habit
Live Your Agreements
by Jef Bartow
Our next spiritualizing habit is one that most of us feel we already exhibit. Unfortunately, the instinctual human process of sublimation consistently removes that which our conscious awareness does not want to accept. It is fairly easy for us to see how others do not live their agreements, especially in close relationships. It is far more difficult for each of us to see how we are just like others.
In order for us to see the truth of our own behavior requires greater awareness of our agreements.
Step One: Identify what are your agreements in life.
To begin, it is easy to identify that a marriage agreement exists if we are married. If owning a business, we can pull out our legal partnership agreement. If we make income, we can read the IRS tax code or talk to our accountant to understand our agreement with the government. But, is this what it means to live our agreements? Based on a strict outer material orientation, we could say yes. Based on a spiritual orientation, the answer is a profound no. Even our legal system accepts verbal agreements as binding.
So, our agreements have been created by written documents, a verbal meeting of the minds, our emotional understandings with others and even our repeated behaviors over time. Isn't this the basis for common-law marriages? Step one is about coming to the realization that we have many agreements in life. It is also about making them conscious and a basis for growth.
Start with your closest relationship. If need be, first define what you believe this individual has committed to give you in the relationship. Then document what your agreement is, whether verbalized or not. Remember, the more truthful you can be with yourself, the greater potential for growth.
Now move to your work agreement. It's easy to say that I agreed to perform a certain set of duties for certain compensation. What about your expectations for the future. Isn't there an applied agreement about what you will do for certain rewards you will gain? And what about with your peers? Are not there certain general understandings about how to go along to get along? All of this is part of your agreement, whether others are fulfilling them or not.
Looking at the whole of agreements, I think we can define certain agreements we have with family members, especially parents and children. Probably none of them documented, but certainly the basis for criticism and hurt feelings. For example, how often do your parents expect interaction and is this expectation yours also? The same goes for your close friends and even social relationships; what do you and they expect? Finally, it may be a good time to find out what agreements your soul made before coming into this embodiment. These agreements are usually the basis for destiny or fate in life. Beyond our soul, what agreements have we made with God to help fulfill their plan for humanity and earth? Even if you cannot specify these agreements, it may be a good time to begin meditating on them.
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